Darkness, My Old Friend

Ah, The Onion... if I'd been blogging a few years ago I think every other post would have been a link to their site.

I hadn't been there for a while until yesterday, but it's still a great site, and if you've never seen it you really should. The reason for the sudden visit was the video games news photos, courtesy of Kotaku.

This led me to look for the Ghost of Christmas Future Playstation 5 article. It's passed into their archives (you need to pay for a premium subscription to go back more than 4 issues), but I did find this quote by googling:-

SOUTHFIELD, MI--Bored with scaring elderly misers, the Ghost of Christmas Future is spending the holiday season taunting modern children with visions of Christmas 2016's hottest toy: the Sony PlayStation 5, a 2,048-bit console featuring a 45-Ghz trinary processor, CineReal graphics booster with 2-gig biotexturing, and an RSP connector for 360-degree online-immersion play.

"You know how kids area year is an eternity to them,"the wraithlike specter said Monday during a visit to the Southfield home of 13-year-old Josh Kuehn. "So just imagine showing them something they'll have to wait 14 years for. Teasing them with a glimpse of the PS5 is the ultimate torture. They absolutely lose their minds. It's like saying, "Hey, kid, you'll be an old man before you ever get to touch this.""

The Ghost of Christmas Future said he has visited more than 125,000 homes since Thanksgiving, offering children an agonizing sneak peek at what they cannot have for another decade and a half. "I like to appear in the living room with a PS5 hooked up to 2016's most popular TV, the 4'x8' Hi-Def Sony Titania," the Ghost said. "Then, I'll say in my best spooky voice, "Jimmy! Behold what your kids will be playing while you're slaving away at an office job to support them!""

It's typical Onion, and they're still doing this every week.

There are also some great printed Onion books which you should be able to find in bookstores or online, I had a few of them under my ill-fated coffee table. I'd thoroughly recommend their 100 years of history book, Our Dumb Century (Amazon.com, there are some sample pages you can view too), it's a collection of mocked up newspaper front pages, each with a healthy dose of irreverence, satire and hindsight.